THE DISTRICT

Remember when fate told us to go to New Mexico as the first stop on our tour of all 50 states? 

Eh.  What does she know? 

Sure, we’ll get there… by way of DE and now, DC!  Yes, it’s another detour and T-4 days until we head to our nation’s capital (which isn’t even technically a state) for Thanksgiving weekend.  It’s the perfect time because all the turkeys will have headed home for the holiday and we’ll have all 61 bipartisan square miles to ourselves.

To get us in the mood, here’s a DC-based movie marathon a donkey or elephant would love:

1. St. Elmo’s Fire: A college classic, it’s a safe bet that we will shout this in the middle of Georgetown: “I always KNEW he was a Republican!” 
2. The Exorcist: This movie was released the year we were born.  We will celebrate by climbing the infamous staircase while spraying pea soup from our demonic heads. 
3. Wag the Dog: We too may manufacture a war in Albania so we can be heroes and save the day.   
4. Primary Colors: Gov. Jack Stanton was inspired by Jodi’s favorite leader of the free world, an expert in politics and philandering (rhymes with Phil Blinton). 
5. Wedding Crashers: We would be amazing at this.  I can talk the paint off a wall and Jodi is a master at the Electric Slide.  

In our finest Woodward & Bernstein impression, we’ve also gathered the facts on the District of Columbia.  Get out your notebooks:

• The state bird is the Wood Thrush (they are monogamous, unlike many of DC’s human residents), the tree is the Scarlet Oak, and the flower is the American Beauty Rose (yes, THAT one).
• DC averages more inches of precipitation than Seattle each year.  Is it rain or taxpayer's tears?  Who can tell.
• The White House was originally called the “President’s Palace,” but a reporter called it a “white house” and it stuck. 
• The famous red phone seen in movies isn’t in the Oval Office, it’s in the Pentagon.
• The Pentagon has 17.5 miles of hallways.
• DC’s motto may be “Justice to all” but its residents are the only Americans who pay federal income tax without any representation in the US Senate – they have only a non-voting delegate in the House of Reps.  Lame.
• DC has 1 lawyer for every 19 residents and 74 lobbyists for every 1 Senator.  DC also consumes the most wine per capita.  Got a headache?  Me too.
• There are no skyscrapers in DC.
• Abe Lincoln’s monument hands are not flashing gang signs, they are making the “A” and “L” symbols in sign language.
• 8 presidents died in office and 3 more died on July 4^th.  There have only been 44 presidents -- I think Turnpike toll-takers have a better mortality rate.
• 8 presidents never attended college, and the college that has the most presidential alumni is Harvard -- with 7 total.
• The oldest president inaugurated was Ronald Reagan (age 69), and the youngest was John F. Kennedy (age 43). 
• The tallest president was lanky Abe Lincoln at 6’4” and the shortest was James Madison at a tiny 5’4”.
• The term “First Lady” was invented by President Zachary Taylor during Dolley Madison’s funeral.
• DC is known for Ethiopian food, but its signature dish is the Half Smoke, a large hot dog covered in mustard and onions served at Ben’s Chili Bowl – where only Bill Cosby and the Obamas eat for free.

So, is a political scandal on the horizon?  Roadi-Gate has a real nice ring to it...

Stay tuned to Twitter starting on Friday for our trip live as it happens.  If you have any suggestions, list them below! 

We'll post the 411 on (202) when real life is back in session.